High school sex
In an era when “Gossip Girl” passes as tween entertainment and the internet serves up forbidden fruit to any kid with a high-speed connection and a distracted parent, a Neil Simon comedy about adult affairs is a pretty mild proposition.
So why was I shifting uncomfortably in my seat as high school students topped off their wine glasses and delivered lines about lying naked in the afterglow of a marital encounter?
Maybe because I’m a lot closer to grumpy retirement than to my nonchalant youth.
Just to be crystal clear: The play was amusing, the adult support prodigious and the cast truly wonderful (disclosure: one of them was mine). My concerns are in no way meant to detract from any of the above or to imply that the effort fell short in any way. Further, I was proud and pleased that my teenager had the opportunity to (briefly) perform onstage in the company of such a great group of kids.
But with my straight-laced brother and his homeschooled kids in attendance, I couldn’t help but fixate on the play’s adult themes and wonder whether — what with all the grandparents and little sibs in attendance — it might be possible to choose material that wasn’t quite so focused on the infidelities and peccadillos of a clique of middle-aged New York suburbanites.
Granted: The high school student hasn’t been born who doesn’t consider himself or herself equal to playing overage and urbane — and I’m sure the majority of kids can easily distinguish between activities they’re called upon to perform or discuss onstage and activities that are appropriate to everyday life.
Still, the older my kids get, the more I wish their schools would consistently opt for material that is more uplifting, literary or artistic than the low culture that pervades so many aspects of their lives.
Popular books and music and slightly risque plays may be crowd-pleasing alternatives to the classics, but they don’t represent the best of any of those forms. What’s wrong with the best?
If they spend all their lives scarfing down fast-food burgers, they”ll never develop an appreciation for filet mignon. Fortunately, high-brow educational options don’t carry a high price or a high cholesterol count.
There are plenty of excellent choices out there, and many of them feature adult situations and timeless themes. I don’t think the material presented to or by high school students needs to be scrubbed clean of every last cuss word or innuendo.
But if art is the goal, why not choose the best? Given the talents of our students, there’s no doubt they can handle it — and they’re certainly worth it.
Good for you EJ, you are coming over to the dark side of parenthood!
Was it Churchill that said something to the effect of “if you are 20 and not liberal, you have no heart, and if you are 40 and not conservative, you have no brain”?
And who said “a conservative is nothing more than a liberal who got mugged”?
Good for you for being concerned about the morals and messages that our youth have to deal with. And just so you know, don’t worry, nothing will be allright. It just gets worse.
Before you know it, you will be sending your kids to look at colleges, most of which have LGBT centers, free birth control, some of which have co-ed BATHROOMS, some of which have co-ed DORM-ROOMS, and my personal favorite, every other year Yale sponsors Sex Week (do a search at yale.edu)!
It is not that any of this stuff is new, but we have allowed our society to accept behavior that our parents generation would not allow.
Notice how they don’t call us the greatest generation?
Who is responsible for this? Who could it be? Could it be…………………………………..SATAN?
Mr. Salazar, as a gay resident of Downers Grove and frequent reader of this blog, I do object to your lumping “LGBT centers” into the category of “behavior that our parents generation would not allow.” Association? Education? Nothing satanic about those things, IMHO.
As a parent of teenaged boys, I have no illusions that my sons will remain virgins until their wedding nights, at which time they will happily procreate with their brides. It’s not a lack of morals on my sons’ part; it is a heavy dose of common sense on mine. One might say, perhaps, that I am pragmatic.
Therefore, I have no problems with free birth control. As I have told my sons, sexual relations can be glorious, but being sexually active comes with enormous responsibility (in many ways, including morally, emotionally and physically). I’m all for free birth control.
I seriously doubt any of my children will be having sex in a COED bathroom. They might see a flash of skin now and then, but I can’t imagine that they’ll see any more than they already see any time they go to the beach. Let’s be serious here……..college bathrooms are not the most inviting places! Additionally, colleges do offer parents (and students) the option of same-sex dorm floors and bathrooms. Or, like my eldest son, you can opt to live in a private dorm attached to a church, which is decidedly NOT coed.
If you’re concerned about these sorts of issues, there are still colleges around that are extremely conservative, intolerant and homophobic. I suggest you send your sons and daughters to one of them. For my part, I worry more about the colleges that are supposed to be bastions of education but are intolerant when opposing viewpoints are raised. (Ahem, Notre Dame.)
If a son of mine were gay, I would certainly not suggest to him that this is something I would not “allow”, or that this “behavior” made him to be someone who is lesser. That, Mr. Salazar, is a truly appalling point of view.
Having said all that, yes, Elaine, some materials are not age-appropriate for family viewing at a school play. I doubt the people responsible for choosing the school play at the high school will make this same type of choice again.
Anonymous posters:
Please address the message and not the messenger. I have flagged your comments and ask that EJ edit out references to Mike. He is a named, real commenter, is allowed his opinion, and is accorded latitude because he is a real person using his real name. As unnamed commenters, you need to stick to the substance of what is said and refrain from directing comments to him. John, as a real person using his real name, can respond with wider latitude.
If you think you should be able to comment on the messenger, then register and use your real name.
Thank you.
Just more evidence of how far left our country is going.
Mr. Thoman, how could I possibly disagree that Mr. Salazar is entitled to his own opinion? As I am mine, regardless of whether or not I signed my name. In fact, I only reference Mr. Salazar to note that I find a particular point of view appalling. I do not attack him personally, I state my disagreement, and support thereof, of his stated opinion.
I think you need to throttle back on the power trip of blog control. In my opinion.
‘and is accorded latitude because he is a real person using his real name’..
So you can write whatever you wish as long as you post under a ‘real’ name, which of course could never be verified?
In that case my real name is Vinny Scaratini, can I write something stupid now?
Why has Mark’s personal crusade to ban anomynity become the central issue in this blog? Why does is matter so much? Who gives a frog’s fat butt about the puppets?
Mark, your own blog is lonely. It needs you, it weeps the soft cry of neglect. Dust is gathering in its corners, cobwebs are starting to fill in the corners. Won’t you go to it and make it feel loved again? Please?
Elaine Johnson, editor says:
“The DGreport respects and protects the privacy of its contributors. E-mail addresses will be kept in the strictest confidence.”
For clarification, is Thoman apart of DGreport??
Mark I find your attitude offensive and very dictorial regarding who is allowed to say what.
Thoman is an author at DGreport. He posts and comments here, but doesn’t have administrative access.
I’ve asked him to weigh in on comments only after receiving negative feedback on my comments policy for years from public officials and others who consider this site another “Sound Off.”
Frankly, I thought I would give a more stringent policy a try. To do that, I had to bring in someone whose perspective on comments is less liberal than mine.
I am very interested to read the responses to Thoman’s POV. Indeed, I welcome them. As I have written previously, nothing is written in stone here. It’s all a work in progress.
We all know there is a line between gratuitous personal attacks and a legitimate difference of opinion. I’m just trying to get a handle on where that line should fall for the purposes of this blog.
Finally, it will continue to be the policy of the DGreport to entertain anonymous commenters. This is a small town and there are many who undoubtedly have good reasons for shielding their identity. I respect their position because I have experienced the flip side — being criticized or worse for expressing my opinions openly.
Thoman and I are bound not to agree on everything. My position as this blog’s editor and publisher: If someone has posted here repeatedly under an alias they are no longer a “sock puppet” to me or this community.
And that’s exactly how I see this blog — as a community. Like any good hostess I want you to feel welcome, to feel free to express your opinions and to treat my other guests respectfully. Like any good mom, I know how to lower the boom when necessary.
Your patience is appreciated.
Let’s try this one more time. I find the opinion stated by the first commenter on this topic appalling.
Read the Comment Policy in the left side column. Then read my first post. None of us were ever given the latitude to say whatever we please here, whenever we please; some just took that liberty.
You are directly addressing Mike who is a private citizen, not a public office holder, or public employee, only he does not have the courtesy of knowing who it is that says that about him. Your comment singling out Salazar isn’t even needed, prag; you made your opinion known on the issue already.
I think that’s closer to the intent of the Comment Policy, although the difference will elude some. Thank you for making the effort of taking ownership of your opinion, rather than simply judging someone else’s opinion appalling.
In my first thread comment here, I ask anonymous posters please to follow the simple rules, to up their game if you will, and ask EJ to delete responses directly at Mr. Salazar made by anonymous posters.
And to think I throttled up the dictator act enough to say please and thank you. How awful of me.