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Entries Tagged as 'humor'
Resident receives threatening cake
April 1st, 2010 · Comments Off · Breaking News, humor
Downers Grove resident Maxine Caldwell first saw the decorated life-threatening dessert late yesterday afternoon when she checked her mail. When asked by DGreport, Ms. Caldwell was at a loss to explain why she would be the brunt of such a comminatory confection. Police are investigating and have found that, so far, the cake itself is [...]
DG Police Go Green
April 1st, 2010 · 1 Comment · Breaking News, humor
Village first to try vehicle program. In a surprise announcement this morning, Village Manager David Fieldman and Police Chief Robert Porter jointly announced that the Downers Grove Police Department will be the first in the Chicago area to receive federal funding for a special program in President Obama’s “Green Initiatives” vehicle replacement program.
Socky endorses
January 24th, 2010 · 1 Comment · humor
Weeeeeeeellllll hello fellow DGers! Thank god it’s election season for the next nine months-as if Illinois couldn’t figure out how to be more screwed up and make us all have to listen all year long how concerned all these politicians are with cutting taxes and slashing expenses and creating jobs. You know what that all [...]
Tags: endorsements·humor
Living in the house Messers built
January 18th, 2010 · 9 Comments · Fresh Meat, Historical preservation, humor, Neighbohoods
Messers Kerchner was not a carpenter. Oh sure, like most men of his era I’m sure necessity dictated he be a handy guy around the house — dependable repair services were likely scarce in the Thirties and I’m pretty sure Sears Hardware was closed on weekends. The simple stuff he could handle. Pet canary peck [...]
Tags: Sears Catalog·Sears house
Santa Socky’s Christmas column
December 19th, 2009 · 3 Comments · humor
Wrapping up probation with a big holiday bow. Well heck yea fellow Downers freaks, merry insert-your-holiday-in-here! Even though I got accidentally employed for two days this year (more on that later) I hope all a you who have followed my lead got yourself permanently and gainfully employed as official government statistics about the unemployed, and [...]
Tags: humor
Cop cars cheap
November 20th, 2009 · Comments Off · humor, Transportation
The village will be putting at least eight police cars up for sale, with auction prices starting at $500. Consent a on the upcoming workshop should result in council approving a resolution to declare certain vehicles and equipment as surplus property. It will authorize VM Fieldman to dispose of such property pursuant to Section 2.35 [...]
Tags: cop cars
Tasty affordable housing
November 4th, 2009 · 1 Comment · Downtown Management Corp., humor, Local Business
The Downtown Management Corp. launches the first annual Gingerbread House Contest. Entries are welcome in two divisions, Family/Individual and Business, and there will be voting for best in class. Winners for each division will be chosen by viewers choice during “It’s A Wonderful Weekend”, November 27 to November 29, another great reason to head downtown [...]